Tuesday, April 22, 2008

It's About Time

Started out friends 'cause we shared the same enemy
Thought that you were being such a great friend to me
It was us against the world and we had a blast
Always said if the cops came, we would be too fast
Never had a chance to test it though, all that's in the past
I decided I didn't want that life anymore
You decided I was a bad friend and walked out the door

The enemy is defeated now, so we've grown apart
Nothing left to say, but I'll keep you in my heart

It's about time I get independent and stand on my own two
Stop bein frustrated you'll never understand what it's like to be in my shoes
It's about time I go and do my own thing
Open up my eyes more, you never know what life will bring

You bring out the part of me that you most despise
Made me think I was the wrong one so I hid in a disguise
Well all the times you left me alone, I'd look up at the sky
Talking to God trying to figure out 'whats wrong with this guy?'
'cause In the back of my mind, knew it couldn't have been me
I gave us my all, always wanted you to be happy
Tried to make you understand, but all you did is call me crazy
Sometimes I wanna be like you, walk around like nothing can faze me

The end of us is so much different than the start
Nothing left to say now, But I'll keep you in my heart

It's about time I get independent and stand on my own two
Stop bein frustrated you'll never understand what it's like to be in my shoes
It's about time I go and do my own thing
Open up my eyes more, you never know what life will bring

All the mistakes I've made as I've gotten older
And all I got was the world on my shoulders
So I'm taking a load off and I'm starting to move on
All the chances life gave me, don't want them all gone
So I'm using this one for real and I got my head straight
Doing what I never thought I could, creating my own fate

And it's about time...

There Was Silence

(Every girl is born in a pure white dress it's called innocence)
Her lips quiver. And her eyes grow teary
Head now aching, trying to shake the memory
She's feeling overwhelmed by a river of emotions
Hitting so hard, it's more like an explosion
She was stubborn, ain't wanna be walked, wanted to be on her own
'Till she realized independence made her feel so alone
All of a sudden, she felt someone grab her by the hair
It was a monstrous octopus hands flying everywhere
Violating her, tattering her white gown
Forever turning the angels precious smile into a frown
It was happening right in the middle of town
Though the streets were full it seemed no one was around
What was going on, it all started so fast
Inside her head, girl prayed it wouldn't last
Even after it was over, she knew she had to say something
She opened her mouth to speak -
But there was nothing

This is Me

I be the girl with the cocky model - like swagger
Look through the corner of my eyes you mistake it for a dagger
Won't let you in my biz, you confuse it with deceit
Bow legged stance, confidence you mix with conceit
Chandeliers hanging from my ears in addition to the things I've listed
You don't know me, don't judge me, and don't get it twisted

It seems that nowadays
the sidewalks are my runways
People here to criticize
Never caring what's behind my eyes
They only know what they heard
And spread the word, those little birds
What they say makes me look bad
It used to make me so sad
But that was then, though
And now I'm lovin it, so

If the streets is the catwalk so ya'll can stare and judge me
Then I'll strut my stuff gracefully
I'm a drama queen, good or bad, I simply love attention
And just like they say, My name is the one they like to mention

Deadly Sin

That fire That ignites, it burns in my chest
My Heart engulfed in flames, can't put this to rest
It boils up my blood, bubbling through the vein
Can't touch me anymore I've been brought up in pain
The heat being released through furried eyes
Innocence being conquered, no one hears the cries
Finger tips tingle with the urge to react
Everything will explode. Nothing in tact
With nerves melted off, one can no longer feel
Dying from my own demon, I watch my skin peel
Escaping the inside, now burning the shell
Leaving a tortured soul to go off and dwell


Just to feel his Touch
How does he Taste?
How does he Smell?
How does His heart beat?
His Voice sound?

I must know
Just to Feel him
Hear his Voice
Call my Name

I want to know His story
And I want
To know Mine

I want to give Us
A try
I want to experience
Life With him
I want to know
What it would be like
For our Hearts
To beat in unison

Not This Time

I say yes, you say no
I say stay, so out of spite, you go
For a while I could not figure you out
But now I'm smart, I know what you're all about
Now I want you gone, but you wanna stay
So I'll tell you never leave, and sure enough, you'll walk away
You thought you could fool me but the tables have turned
You should have known sooner or later you would get burned
And you're so foolish, you don't know I'm talking about You
Well I'm just glad you're gone with all the bull I went through

Found Myself (Needing You)

I found myself needing someone to call at around 12 midnight
While Laying on my bed by the window feeling the breeze under the moonlight
I found myself needing someone to spend all my time with when no one else is there
I found myself needing someone to hold me while I cry when no one else cares
I found myself needing to be treated like a queen
Needing you to wrap your arms around me
I found myself needing someone to call my boo
I found myself needing love. I found myself needing you

We been friends for a long time. Always have fun together
Forever coming up with things to do. Even in the worst weather
Remember the time we were cooped up in my house all day
We played video games, and you couldn't get your way;
I won, and you wrestled me. We started to play fight
Then I ate ice cream, and we watched TV for the rest of the night
I could've kissed you then, but I didn't think it would be right
I didn't want to ruin the friendship, 'cause we so tight

Remember the time we walked all the way to the park, stayed there after dark, then it poured rain
I said I liked it, but we couldn't stay, and we ain't have money, so we hopped the train
I always knew I had to tell you, but I didn't know how
I been having these feelings for a while now

Just thought I should let you know how I feel
I know we joked about dating, but this time I'm for real
I don't want to pressure you, just thought you should know
So tell me if I should keep these feelings, or should I let it go
Maybe we should talk about the possibilities of you being my man
I know you must be busy now, so call me when you can.

Best Friends

You ain't even know he existed
Till I said I was into him
He ain't even know your name
Till you made your move and played the game
Now I see him pushing you on the swings
And it's a shame because before everything

You were my best friend
Down to ride till the very end
You were my best girl
I was your diamond, you was my pearl
We were like sisters
Until you stole my mister

I told you how I wanted to be his
Should not have told you any of my biz
'cause now I'm sitting here all alone
Even had to disconnect my phone
Don't even give me that crap on how you liked him before
I really don't wanna hear anymore

You were my best friend
Down to ride till the very end
You were my best girl
I was your diamond,you was my pearl
We were like sisters
Until you stole my mister

I can't believe you did me wrong
Even played him that love sing
I can't believe how I trusted you
And look what you go and do
Now I seen him give you that ring
And it's a shame because before everything

You were my best friend
Down to ride till the very end
You were my best girl
I was your diamond, you was my pearl
We were like sisters
Until you stole my mister

We ain't best friends
No more, that's the end
You betrayed me, girl
Turned out a fake pearl

Don't even give me that crap on how you liked him before
I really don't wanna hear anymore

I'm a diamond in the ruff
Now you crawlin' back, well tough
No longer my best girl
Ima be stronger now
I don't need you anyhow
Now he wants back the ring
You alone, too, but before everything
You were my best friend
Down to ride till the very end
You were my best girl
I was your diamond, you was my pearl
We were like sisters
All until you stole my mister

World War Three

Everybody said you guys are perfect together
On the surface it looked like things couldn't get any better
But you know things with him are either black or white
Either you're laughing it up, or you're in a fight
Things are never just OK between you two
But you're too afraid to tell him that you're through
Afraid that he might go crazy or even stalk you
I mean it's looking like world war three up in your house
It's almost hard to believe he's your spouse
How could you say to me that you in love with that guy?
If he loved you, he wouldn't give you a black eye
If he loved you, he would never try to make you cry
If he loved you, he wouldn't nearly make you die
Or hold you down, and force you to do things
Obcene things, rape you, and later buy you a ring
And you always forgive him. It's not worth the pain
Him scaring you so you won't leave, threatend to slit his vain
Right in your face, he even broke your stuff
Just so he could feel big, bad, and tough
But I'm not putting the blame on you, 'cause I know that it's rough
All the physical, mental, and emotional violence
I know your kids would give anything for just a moment of silence
They even say you get beat and raped, and the cops ain't even bother
I pray to God your son don't end up just like his father

You Don't Know

You don't know my name. You don't know my face
You don't know me. So we will never embrace
Even if you knew of me, it wouldn't happen anyway
You're above my age, you'd never see me in that way
You'd probably see me as a little girl who knows nothing of love
And so I always make a wish when I look above
I must admire you from afar the way other people do
And you may never know how much I really love you

Ima Do Me

I look in the mirror, and can't help but realize
my reflection don't show who I really am. You can't even see it in my eyes
I heard it so many times; that eyes don't lie
but that just can't be true. Lemme tell you why
I'm in pain, even when you see me smile
and if I do laugh, it only lasts for a little while
Ain't a person on this planet that know how I really am
People complain they can't trust their friends. At least they got their fam.
My family robbed me of my innocence, and put me down
Criticize, talk about me, made me feel like a clown
Gossip about each other like the people at school
Compare me to my cousin, make me hate that fool
And it's messed up, coz even your "best friend"
Could turn around and betray you at any second
And for the people who think what you get is what you see
Plain and simple: it's not true. So stop trying to judge me
Only god can judge, but I see why they say the things they do
I look like a bad person from their point of view
Because they only know a bit of it, and half of that ain't even true/
so I hear the rumors, those stupid lies
Ignore the people grillinâ?? me. Let them criticize
I'm not gonna tell them all my business, just so I could be liked by everyone
And yeah, sometimes my blood boils, and I wish I had a gun
But I can't afford to mess up. I don't wanna lose
So I'm happy knowing I could choose
My choice is to stay out of trouble, and get out of this place until my engine burn out, Iâ??m stayinâ?? in the race
so if you don't love me, leave me alone. It costs you nothing to ignore me
I got bigger things to worry about, so I don't want any problems, B
Before I went crazy, my daddy hit me with this advice:
next time you spend time trying to look nice
looks ain't everything. You ain't gotta be cool
worry about you, be selfish when it comes to school
you wanna do well, so you could be the boss and make all the rules
All the haters that wanna hate, forget about them fools
So ima listen, and not try to be with the hottest crew
I decided ima do ME. And you could do YOU

The Happiness Within

If you were me, then you would know.
You'd be feeling trapped; Nowhere to go
I'm in a room full of people. But sitting alone.
Paranoid they're talking about me, I'm still as a stone.
I'm looking at my notebook. Not left or right.
Wishing, and hoping I'll disappear out of sight.
I ask to use the bathroom, and walk into the hall.
Wanting, so badly, to knock down a wall.
All those people leaving me grieving, and without hope.
There's nothing wrong with me, I think I just don't know how to cope.
I get into the stall, no tears running down my face.
So I pull out the blade from my pocket that I had, just in case
But remembering all those people leaving me, and hurting me.
My eyes get so blurry, I can't even see.
I'm so overwhelmed, I almost want to shout.
But I focus, not to let the tears come out.
I use the blade to scratch at my skin.
All because I couldn't find The Happiness Within.

Wrath (by Entity and Baby D)

Mother Fucker, you hurt me so much.
I can't believe our lips even touched.
You ass, your reputation is being a bitch.
Get away from me. Nigga you make me sick.
Pussy. You could go suck a dick.
Ima kill ya ass, and nothing more could stop me.
Keep talking shit, I'll send shots through ya body.
I will hurt you so bad, make you feel hell on earth.
Make you wish you never left me. See what I'm really worth.
You can't deny the shit you did to me.
You think you so hard, you swear you a G.
When we was together I had to take all the bullshit.
Always braggin about the girls you been wit.
It's called Karma, how could you be so dumb?
Next girl you get wit will play you like drums.

To The One I'm Craving

I swear you must be like some kind of drug.
I'm a good Girl infatuted with a thug.
Sometimes you make me feel so good.
Make me forget that you're from the hood.
Other times you make me feel so blue.
Make me feel I could never be with you.
And then I hate that I'm in love with you.
I go crazy, don't know what to do.
This is how you represent my drug
And make me wanna be your baby Thug
First comes the high, I'm crazy in love
I Feel like I could reach the star above.
You act like you're so into me.
You wanna show me to ecstasy
When I speak, you wanna listen
You look at my face, your eyes just glisten
You go from wispering sweet things in my ear.
To ignoring me. What's going on here?
Then comes the crash, you don't seem to know me.
Pass by me like nothing, like you can't see.
I'm yearning for your love so bad.
But I stay quiet, stay being sad.
Because you seem to love another girl.
Talk about her like she's your world.
I'm so confused, boy, what went wrong?
I thought our feelings were burning strong.
Now there's a tense silence between us.
Got me tryin so hard not to cuss
Spazzin out, making a fuss
And that would be the hangover
I know better, still, I do the thing over.
I'm addicted, your swagger, your style.
You're sense of humor, scent, and your smile
Makes your loving really worth my while
You make my problems seem to lift away
I'm crazy about it, I need you to stay
But there's a crash after the high
Where to you, I don't exist, or maybe you're shy
And there's no hug, 'hi' or 'goodbye'
This is how you represent my drug
Signed, with love, from your baby thug.

Because of You (by Entity and Sway)

Non existent is my relationship with you
You're screwed up, and you screwed me up, too
It feels like I'm carrying boulders
cause you put the world on my shoulders
You can't even own up to your own mistakes
You lie, you steal, you are such a fake
The only time we talk is when we fight or you want something
But you never there for me, so you
getting nothing
Because of you, I can't trust myself
Let alone trust anyone else
What you think, I'm naive, and I can't see
That you be neglecting, and using me?
Why do you have to be this way
Don't you have anything better to say
Is it too much to ask?
Too big of a task?
I think of all the pain
And wonder if I'm sane
I reminisce on all the problems I've gone through
And then I realize it was all because of you

Victim of Society

I found myself in distress
Stumblin and trippin over mess
Walk into a room and see all my friends
With pearly white smiles and each with a shoulder to lend
I reach my hand out to grab one but she's so stiff
Startled, I jump back, head falls off, 'cause she's plastic
If it was anything I learned, it's that love is just like magic
It feels so fantastic
But half the time It's nothing more than an illusion
I try not to get caught up in confusion
But im a fabulous payless wedge heel sandal
Surrounded by the same multi colored sneakers. Phonniess and scandal
There's no variety
these kens and barbies walk talk dress and act the same
Find myself a victim of society
Ignorance is to blame
They seem like they know just where they stand
But they jock others so much, nothing more than a stan
Express opinions so strong, and just when I'm feelin 'em
Realize they change into who ever they with, little chamillions
And I really wish they knew they didnt have to fake it with me
Like a shark smells blood, I can smell insecurity
When they
Laugh off a remark trying to hide the way embarassment looks
Or they feel stupid being excluded from conversations so they pretend to be into their books
I know it all you really grow up when you realize
There's no one there to hold u in their arms and wipe your eyes


I've got a. Secret burried inside waiting to be found/
Because he's got/
Sparkles in his eyes that dance around/
Smooth luscious skin that often times I crave to taste/
And hands I long to feel holding my waist/
His barritone being the only music that I hear/
That erases all my fears/
Swagger that sets my heart and imagination ablaze/
With passion/
And excitement from him touching in elaborate ways/
Each making up for what the other one lacks/
Lines being crossed so far there's no turning back/
The ultimate sin no doubt/
Yet somehow/

It's Beautiful

Idiot! (You Broke It!)

U broke it

Not just all the wonderful plans I had that was in the near future

Not just the promises

Not just my soul

You broke my heart

Shattered beyond repair.

For good this time

And I cant give my heart to anyone else

Because its just that broken.

It was a good story, the one of you and me.

A good one.

Never gave it a chance though. Not enough. Didn't care for it enough

To fight for it like I did

Maybe you got bored with the story.

Whatever it was

Shortly after the first chapter

You closed the book

He's So Fly

Smooth talkin stylish guy
You stay fresh and you stay fly
Swagger takes their breaths away
You get hit on everyday

Must admit you stole my heart
Feenin for you from the start
Saw what others could not see
Thought about you constantly

Whenever you would try to speak
Girls would turn the other cheek
I showed you some attention
You showed me your affection

You suddenly became mine
Girls suddenly found you fine
So up went your confidence
Along with your ignorance

Girls they want what they can;t have
Fall for it and you'll be damned
Allure of the forbidden fruit
Would change their mind once they got you

Girls they don't appreciate
A good guy when he comes their way
Trust me boy when I say
My love you cannot replace

Soo make up your mind today
Do you want to stray away
I wasn't scared to fall for you
But I will never crawl for you

Foolish pride, don't make that mistake
You cannot have and eat your cake
Go to them and you'll realize
You gave up such a good prize
You will see that you were wrong
But turn around and I'll be gone

A Pretty Red Ribbon

I wanna see blood. So bad. A perfect bubble in a beautiful red color. A bubble that blooms, and eventually overflows into a ribbon, sliding down. Sliding down, like a river. In the river, flowing away is a bunch of troubles, and worry. Stresses, and all that other bad stuff that makes you want the river to go on, and on. When the color fades, squeeze for more to come. Dripping, flowing.... running.

With the start of a prick, something sharp. A blade, a fingernail, a pin...
And a feeling too overwhelming to bare.

That's when tears are held back. And in place of a heart crying out in sorrow, a dagger is pressed gently against a palm that has sinned...

And there - in a line - appears a perfect plush bubble. Beautiful, rosy colored...


Calling eyes look deep and mesmerize

Tingling lips press against
each other

Tempted hands run across smooth
bodies of silk

Treasures are found

Secrets are shared

Fingers linked

Two become one

and discover a new world

My Other Half

Left without right
Eyes without sight
The stars without light
A plane without flight

Summer with no sun
A burger with no bun
A child who knows no fun
The lonely number one

It's like a fairy tale without a kiss
Though it's long overdue, I'm telling you this
You are my complete, and total opposite
Yet somehow, together we fit

Uncanny, as if the sky just stopped being blue
That would describe Me without You

The object of my obession

I draw and try to capture what I see
The way his eyes light up, the way he smirks
But can't get down what is right before me
I see him as a piece of God's best work

It seems his eyes are where I see it all
His eyes, which sometimes look like they are sad
Like mine, I wish that he could hear my call
His eyes, which glisten when he is so glad

And he can always make me laugh so quick
Something incredible that I adore
Something intangible, almost magic
Perhaps it's not his eyes, but something more

I feel like giving up on all my tries
May be the way he's seen through my own eyes